Chicken Or Beef?

David Sedaris writes this of undecided voters in The New Yorker:

"To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

True that, Mr. Sedaris.

I understand how one could be undecided between, say, Ms. Clinton and Mr. Obama several months ago. Both touted vaguely similar viewpoints on many issues, and maybe more importantly, both have "Don't Blame Me; I'm A Democrat!" stickers on their back bumpers. A Libertarian I drunkenly debated with in a Virginia Highlands bar Saturday night argued that there's really no difference between the elephants and the asses these days. I personally think he (along with most Libertarians) is nuts, but I'll accept it-- in most elections.

But after the past eight years, how could you be undecided? Everybody has an opinion in this election. A large portion of the population hates Bush and everyone associated with him. They could never vote for another old, white conservative to run the country. Another, much richer portion of the country vehemently supports the GOP blindly, and are probably joined in their cult-like underground firelit meetings by my delightfully Republican parents. Those people tend to make me a little frustrated. BUT! At least they have an opinion. (Even if it IS...never mind. This is not the place.)

This was on Sunday's Post Secret:


Who HASN'T done that at the polls? No one (no one I know, no one who also makes time to watch Mad Men and read Slate and play with their dog from time to time) can know the issues and stances of every single candidate in a given election. So who doesn't just cast their vote for Harry Pitts, or Dick Johnson, or Sarah Hartushkowitzl occasionally? Don't lie to me. You have and you will again. Does it matter? And if it doesn't matter in the tiny city council election, which may have even more direct effect on you, Mr. J.T. Plumber, does it really matter on the national stage?

I don't know, dudes. Just make up your damn minds and go vote, anyway, just to be safe.