Free For All

Here at IoE, we commend ourselves on being frugal. Or maybe we just don't have two pennies to rub together to start a fire (that works, right? Boy Scouts?). Either way, we're committed to helping you, our dear readers, live the kind of frugal life that can allow you to sail off in your yacht after your 60th birthday (or at the very least, book an interior cabin on a 4-day-3-night Disney cruise). What better way to save money than by eating for free? Thanks to advertising stunts in a desperate economy, you have two new ways to do just that.

For some reason, Greg Creed, the "Curiously Australian" President of Taco Bell, as Consumerist describes him, loves to give away free tacos. He did it in 2004. He did it during last year's World Series, and some baseball fans didn't like it, according to this Boston Globe article. He did it sometime earlier in 2008, I swear, but Google's not backing me up here. According to Wikipedia, he even tried to do it as far back as 2001, promising every American a free taco if a target the Bell placed in the Pacific Ocean was hit by a falling piece of the space station Mir (it wasn't). What a wacky Australian. Well, regardless, it's Free Taco Time again, thanks to Tampa Bay shortstop Jason Bartlett's base-stealing prowess. After writing Mr. Bartlett a thank-you note, I say you gather up all your friends on Tuesday, October 28th, Free Taco Day. A quick Google search reveals that there are "about 1,271" Taco Bells near Atlanta, GA. How many deliciously free crunchy beef tacos do you think you can eat? Mmm, Mild Sauce.

Now for a promotion that'll quench your thirst for free stuff. We all know by now that Chinese Democracy, Guns N' Roses' little album that never quite could, is finally going to see the light of day on November 23rd of this year. The makers of Dr Pepper either didn't see that one coming, or they belong to Greg Creed's school of free thought. Back in March, they announced (unbeknown to Axl, apparently) that if Chinese Democracy could chugga-chugga-chug it's way into record stores by the end of 2008, then everyone in America could enjoy a can of Dr Pepper, on them. They've since upped the ante and made it a free 20 oz. bottle. Dr Pepper even launched a blog about the offer and the mythical album. Well, Axl's finally making good, and so's Dr Pepper. On or after the album's "release date" (I'll believe it when I see it) of November 23, one need only visit the Dr Pepper website and fill out a form, then sit back and wait 4-6 weeks for one's free 20 oz. Dr Pepper coupon to arrive. This process will be made more difficult if you happen to be ex-band members Slash or Buckethead, as the offer explicitly excludes the two of them from receiving their free tasty beverages. According to NME, Axl promised to share his Dr Pepper with Buckethead. Slash, if you're reading this, you're SOL. Sorry dude.

In related news, anybody remember my journalistic hero and ex-SPIN Magazine senior writer Chuck Klosterman's April Fool's Day 2006 review of Chinese Democracy? He gave the then-fictional album 3 out of 5 stars. I'm curious to see if Klosterman can add psychic to his resume.

Anyway, IoE just wanted to make sure you're all on top of this free food business. Remember: October 28th, 2008, go get your free taco. November 23rd, 2008, log onto DrPepper.com and get your coupon, then stop by your local record store to see if Chinese Democracy actually exists. If it does, be on the lookout for locusts, scary horsemen and other signs of the apocalypse. You never know.