Humility

Yesterday I promised a high school journal excerpt years from now, when I've finally gotten over my embarrassment. Well, packing today, I found my middle school journals, and just couldn't wait. Here's a little something for you, moderately edited (because they're my damn journals and I can edit them if I want to). Also, names have been changed because who knows how many of you characters secretly went to my middle school:

June 11, 1998
"Why is life so complicated? It is, really. One day you like one guy, the next day you like another. What's with that? 'Cause yesterday, I only liked Josh, but now I like Anthony. But only now I like them both! I have more of a chance with Anthony, but Lindsay likes him and Josh's SO FINE! But Anthony is really cute and really nice but Josh's SO FUNNY but Anthony's funny and from Texas! We have so much in common! But I'm so much like Josh but I don't know Anthony too well so maybe I'm a lot like him, too. How the hell am I supposed to decide? Oh, yeah, I don't have to. School ends tomorrow. Nothing more. Who am I kidding? Neither of them are gonna ask me out tomorrow. Or even really talk to me. So who cares? I can't do anything about it. I won't ask either of them out. OR even "really talk to them." All I wanna do is go out with ONE of them! And I can't even decide who. 'Cause they're both so cool. And cute. And sweet. And... oh, forget it. It doesn't really matter anymore. Really. It doesn't."

Aaaand scene. So what've we gleaned about 12-year-old Amy from this, class? I made liberal use of the underline, that's for sure. Keep in mind, each of these boys were classmates I'd barely spoken five sentences to over the course of 7th grade. But really, when you get past that and the obvious junior-high descriptors ("so fine!"), is my thought process about boys really all that different at 23? Eh, it doesn't really matter. Really. It doesn't.

P.S. fellow bloggers, feel free to take this as a call to arms and post your own horrifyingly embarrassing diary entries. I won't say it's therapeutic, but it's certainly interesting.