Crushes On Really Inappropriate Men

As humans, we have a tendency to want what we can't have, aspire for the unattainable. When you daydream about Joe Jonas or Ed Westwick or George Clooney or whoever floats your sailboat, you don't actually believe they're going to come sweep you off your feet in your sleepy town, armed with flowers and chocolates. But it's nice to know that it's remotely possible-- they're alive, and, well, they're human.

Growing up, I had crushes on the usual suspects (JTT was popular in my household, as was the youngest Hanson brother). But I also went for a few guys who were a little sketchier-- as in, animated.

The first that I can remember is Dale, of "Ch-ch-ch-chip 'n Dale, Rescue Rangers" fame. Even as a little kid I had a strong preference for one chipmunk over the other. Dale was the laid-back, devil-may-care, mischievous one with the red nose. With him around, I could never go for the no-nonsense and responsible Chip. No contest. So yeah, Dale held a special place in my heart, and we had a standing date for years-- every afternoon on the Disney Channel.

Later on in childhood, a boy named Arnold caught my eye. He was a little less my type, except for the wild hair, but he reminded me of a boy I'd had a real life crush on in 5th grade. Our relationship was on-and-off, whenever I caught an episode of Hey Arnold! on Nickelodeon.

I think most girls my age had a crush on Dmitri from Anastasia. I know all us girls who would watch it in college did. And who wouldn't? He was dreamy, and voiced by adorable John Cusack to boot. Yeah, there's that abnormally large bump in his nose that's pretty distracting in profile, but every guy has flaws, even cartoon guys. And okay, he's a con man, but with a heart of gold! Watching him fall in love with Anya is just cute and romantic enough to make you forget about all the historical inaccuracies in the world.

And then there's the one you always come back to. For me, it's not even a question-- it's Robin Hood. He may be a fox, but he's one foxy fox. That accent! Those... archery skills! That do-gooder-bending-the-rules moral code! Maid Marion is one lucky lady. She gets the fox of my dreams.

So what do you think; have I got a chance with any of these bachelors? Honestly, it seems like I'd have the best luck with Dale, since Helga, Anya and Marion would probably be none too pleased at me going after their men. And you know, I think I'd make a good Rescue Ranger. It's always good for a girl to have options.