Crushes On Inappropriate Men

I know you're all sitting at home contemplating the state of Isle of Everything on a near-daily basis. And the conclusion you've probably come to is this: Isle of Everything's pretty fantastic, but what it really could use is more ridiculous regular features, am I right? Well you got it. Introducing the first installment of:

Crushes On Inappropriate Men

Kicking it off is our very own Vice President, Crazy Joe Biden! Just look at that grin, huh? And yes, I could be wrong, but I believe his official title is in fact, Vice President Crazy Joe Biden. Crazy Joe, for short. This 66-year-old cutie is just a heartbeat away from the big job, and is eons more attractive than his predecessor, former Vice President Crazy Dick Cheney (what is it about the Vice Presidency that attracts the loons?). I guess the most important question to ask about Crazy Joe is, was he always so devastatingly handsome? The answer, of course, is a resounding yes. Unlike some of his fellow politicians (check out Blagojevich!), Crazy Joe was probably a hit with the ladies when he was younger.

Would you look at that? What a heartthrob back in the day. He wasn't really my type, of course (his hair just isn't crazy enough and he doesn't bear even a passing resemblance to a hobo), but nevertheless, easy on the eyes.

Just like with George W. Bush, I have to admit that the Joe Biden in my mind is made up almost entirely of the Joe Biden of Saturday Night Live. Jason Sudeikis portrays Crazy Joe as batshit insane, and I have to believe that's an accurate depiction. I mean, Will Ferrell's Bush was pretty dead-on. Tina Fey's Sarah Palin as well. SNL has a good track record for getting it right, so I have no reason to believe that Crazy Joe is not every bit as crazy as he looks on TV.

I'll leave you with this:



Q. What's the difference between a pit bull and Joe Biden?
A. You can teach a pit bull to keep its mouth shut!

Next up on Crushes On Inappropriate Men: Brian Williams!