An Addendum

My Ron Swanson pumpkin wearing the hat from my roommate's Janet Snakehole costume: For reference: It's uncanny, no?

The Ron Swanson Pumpkin of Greatness

I had an epiphany today.

Said epiphany was that I wanted to carve a Ron Swanson pumpkin. Surely this was a unique and original idea that the world had never seen, right? Then I had a second epiphany, about what's basically the non-sexual, Parks & Recreation-themed version of the Internet's Rule 34-- if you can think of it, somebody somewhere has probably made Ron Swanson out of it.

Nonetheless I persevered, and here is the result. It's a little ragged, but hey, my artistic medium of choice is construction paper, not lumpy holiday gourds. For a slightly spookier version:

Where's The Beef?

How could you not look at this and crave a big pile of delicious, delicious meat? Or maybe all the bacon and eggs you have.

[via Vulture]
[full size at NBC.com]

Bloodshot

My first thought as I watched this teaser for the newest season of Dexter was how pretty Michael C. Hall's green eyes are. So of course, that's what they had to mess with for dramatic effect, pooling blood into his steely gaze.

Dexter, I think maybe you should get that looked at. Blood-shot eyes are one thing, but yuck.

Nevermind the fact that this teaser tells us very little about the show's sixth season. It tells us what we need to know-- indeed, it tells us what the Dexter marketing campaign has told us pretty much every single season: "Oh shit, we screwed up. Don't worry; this season, he's going to be really into murdering." One of these days I'd like Dexter to get some character development that doesn't reset each September.

Finales & Premieres

Today: Vulture offered up a guide to picking and choosing what TV shows you should watch three months from now. I think I've made my decisions based on the very little information I have, and let me tell you, a lot of it involves James Van Der Beek.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on NY Mag's site, I was reminded of why I love Paul F. Tomkins' American Idol recaps. The twice-weekly experience of reading them is not enough, however, to make me care that the show is apparently about to end or something. That country boy is about to win, yes? I sit here before you today with mixed emotions in knowing that I've finally reached the moment where American Idol is completely beyond my concern. To think that two seasons ago, I may have sent a text or two. What can I say, Kris Allen really got me with that Once cover.

Never fear; there's other stuff happening on the internet, like Louis CK's preview of the upcoming season of Louie:


The clip, of course, is not all that entertaining, but if you caught season one (on Netflix, natch-- what are we, pilgrims? We don't watch TV in real-time), you know just how fantastic this series is. I look forward to season two, which I will likely watch all in one sitting months after it airs.

There's also yesterday's Muppet trailer, a new Nerdist episode featuring Patton Oswalt (delightful!), the reveal of who Lenny Kravitz is going to play in The Hunger Games (lolwat?) and apparently the season finale of Glee is tonight, but we all joint-quit that months ago, right? RIGHT?

If not, take tonight as your opportunity to do so and spend that newfound hour of your life hugging your family or correcting someone on the internet or something. It'll be worth the sacrifice.

Reboot

If they can reboot superhero movies all day long, then I can reboot a blog. And so it came to pass.

Isle of Everything: A place for everything I love. In the vein of Mindy Kaling's now-defunct Things I've Bought That I Love, only Things I've Found That I Love.

First up? NY Magazine's showrunner interviews.

What TV nerd doesn't love reading about what goes on behind the scenes? NY Mag is slowly releasing the full interviews, which are chock full of information about recent and upcoming finales as well as writing processes, dream shows and other tidbits. I'm staying tuned for more.

An Open Letter To Katherine Heigl

Dear Ms. Heigl,

Listen, bitch.

I get it. You want out of your contract. And I can't say that I blame you for your past comments about the material you were given. Between the beautiful Denny arc of season 2 (back when we here at IoE were tolerant of JDM's continued presence on Grey's) and this current season, Izzie's plot-lines left a lot to be desired. I don't blame you for getting a little bored.

And then your film career began to take off! Knocked Up and 27 Dresses both did well at the box office. Of course, two hits do not a movie-star make, and you do lose points for starring in the lowest-grossing film of all time. But still! Your future looked bright, man, and you probably felt artistically stifled by Grey's Anatomy. And I'm here to tell you that it's okay to feel that way.

But listen. If they really do kill off Izzie Stevens to accommodate your lofty filmic aspirations, I will cut a bitch. I cannot idly stand by and watch Alex Karev's heart break like that (again! Remember Ava?). Over the past five seasons we have watched him go from a smart-ass kid to a good man, all the while he's been Shonda Rhimes' favorite punching bag. And I can't handle watching Alex mourn his dead wife, mmkay? You out of all of us know how heartwrenching Grey's can get when dealing with the death of a main character's loved one-- we all remember watching Izzie deal with Denny's demise. Don't do that to poor Alex.

Or do. Whatevs. But if I see you on the street, I might have to go all hood on your ass.

Seriously.

Sincerely,

Isle of Everything

An Open Letter To Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Dear Mr. Morgan,

Please get a new job.

By no means my first experience with you, but definitely the first time I cared enough to Google you, was your stint on Grey's Anatomy as heart transplant patient Denny Duquette. I rooted for you as you worked your way into Katherine Heigl's heart. I even shed a tear or two (or three or four) when, as things are wont to go at Seattle Grace Hospital, things went wrong, and you died tragically. Upon IMDbing you, I found that I had previously enjoyed your work without realizing it-- as similarly dead Judah Botwin on Weeds, even as Joe Zukowski (whoever that is) on a 2005 episode of The O.C.. You convinced me. I became a fan.

But that was over two seasons ago. Since then, you've reprised your Grey's role seven times. Doesn't a dead guy have better things to do than skulk around Seattle Grace? Currently, the esteemed Ms. Rhimes has Denny haunting Heigl's Izzie, and worse, interfering with her burgeoning relationship with dreamy doc Alex Karev. This I cannot abide.

IMDb lists you as having six films either in production, in post-production or completed but as yet unreleased. One of these is even 2009's The Watchmen, which has every nerd I know spazzing out and may even convince me to give reading the graphic novel it's based upon a shot. Do you really need a paycheck so badly that you have to keep flogging a dead heart transplant patient, so to speak, on Grey's Anatomy? Maybe it ups your rom-com cred with the chicks, and I get that, I do. But seriously? Seriously. Let Denny requiescat in pace and stick with your day job. This moonlighting gig at Seattle Grace is just grating on my nerves.

Thank you for your time, Mr. Morgan. I truly am a fan. I think you're great, even if half the time people just confuse you for Robert Downey, Jr. Keep up the good work in films, and soon your stint in Shondaland will be a mere afterthought on a resume.

Seriously.

Sincerely,

Isle of Everything